What is IFS?

 IFS (parts work)

            IFS stands for internal family systems therapy. The name derives from the observation that we have networks of parts within our personality that operate similarly to family systems. Its alternate name, parts work, points to what this modality is all about—getting to know various parts of ourselves and helping these parts heal on the deepest level.

  IFS is non-pathologizing, meaning that the approach comes from a place of looking for the original intention of our parts, instead of assuming that they are dysfunctional and damaged. Through this process, clients often remember why certain parts of themselves started acting anxious, worried, angry, passive or domineering. There was an original reason why this was adaptive at the time they developed, although in present day these emotional states and behaviors may be causing distress.

Once you understand the intention of a part of you that, for example, gets angry, or cleans compulsively, you can develop a relationship built on understanding and appreciation. The initial parts that you will encounter in therapy are usually the protective parts, and these are categorized into two types: managers and firefighters. Managers seek to control whatever they can so that traumatized parts of you are not triggered and so you do not become overwhelmed with emotions of pain, shame, or fear. These parts can often be critical, anxious, or focused on preparedness. Firefighters, on the other hand, step in when a traumatized part has already been triggered, and attempt to bring relief to your system through a compulsion to do various activities; examples of this are overeating, drinking, drug use, and shopping.

Once a trusting relationship has been built with the protectors, you start to understand that they hold tremendous amounts of wisdom about your system of parts (your personality) and you begin to work with them cooperatively in order to get to know your exiles. Exiles are the parts of you that are hidden away behind the protectors and have been carrying pain or trauma often since childhood. Exiles long to be heard and understood, and ultimately await healing from a loving and compassionate source.

  The truly awe-inspiring part of IFS is that it helps us access a loving and compassionate source that we all have at the core of our being. In IFS this is called Self or Self-energy. Qualities of Self can easily be remembered as the 8 C’s: compassion, curiosity, confidence, calm, connectedness, creativity, clarity, and courage. Self-energy does not need to try to heal, it just does so effortlessly. Once all of our parts relax, Self-energy emerges and does its healing work. The neural networks of trauma become rewired in our brains, but in a gentle, gradual way, at our parts’ pace—this is called unburdening. I liken it to stepping stones to healing, and it can change us in profound ways. We start to live our lives from more Self-energy, and the result is less reactivity, more connectivity, greater understanding, and the ability to hold all of ourselves with loving care.

Learn more about how IFS and the Enneagram intersect here: